


Red

by bewear



Category: Code Geass
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-29 07:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7675888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewear/pseuds/bewear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just a series of unfinished things I'm open to critique on as I'm very invested into the series and suzalulu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Red, the color of flames, a rose unwilted, the color of freshly spilled blood. Yet, also a representation of flames flickering only to die out, a beautiful flower with thorns, and death all the same. 

Lelouch was the one who dreamed of being a hero as a child. Yet, all Suzaku could hear from the depths of the crowd was, “Lelouch, the demon is dead.” He had known since his father’s blood spilled onto his hands at the age of 10, that it wouldn’t be the last time he’d watch someone’s life fade from their eyes. 

Lelouch, the spoiled child full of hatred for his own people. He was destined for greater things as evident by his prodigious studies and head full of hot air. “Goodbye, my first and last friend,” took meaning that cut nearly as deep as the hatred he felt for the first person to let him into his head. 

Lelouch was still too far of an enigma, “Don’t you think wishes are the same as Geass?” Accepting the false geass in itself was not a wish, nor was living in a world without Lelouch. But just as death was how he had foreseen atoning for his crimes as well as the ghosts haunting him. 

Shedding tears as a bloody hand wraps around his mask and the dying “demon” beckoning him into his arms one final time. He could remember so clearly the hatred coursing through his veins for a “friend” who betrayed not just him, but the world. Poison spitting off his tongue, “The fact that you exist is an error!” and the echo of pain on his face but not being able to stop. “You are not fit to be in this world!” 

Zero, what an ironic name for such an iconic figure that became hope, fear, and a reminder that the world will continue to turn despite the battles seeming to never end. “Suzaku, you will become a hero.” How funny coming from the boy who grew up wanting to never be ordinary and to stray from the norm even betraying his own people. The boy who had bigger dreams but never the means.

Creating a better world for Nunnally was just a bitter lie like everything else he stated. Nunnally would have just been happy in a world with her brother, but the stupid fool, contradictory in itself but how could he lie to himself? Baring the world’s sins and putting them onto himself at the expense of his own life.. When others still needed him, when others looked past the façade and the “mask.” 

Ripping off the mask and exposing him yet having to dig deeper for more layers and still not finding or understanding his true intentions. The boy destined for more than an early demise.


	2. Chapter 2

“A kingdom, or this.” Lelouch laughed and held out his hand to Suzaku. “You’ll make the right choice, won’t you?” 

Suzaku knew Lelouch almost as well as he knew himself. They were continuously drawn to each other and Lelouch’s ideals never failed to conflict with his own.  
He was just a figurehead, they were never permanent nor was his rule over Britannia. 

Dealing with Lelouch was very much a double edged sword. Dealing with him at all and getting burned in some form was inevitable. But was he implying he was worth giving up a formal title just to remain with him?

“What choice do I have? I don’t believe I had one to begin with, your Majesty.” 

Lelouch laughed a bit louder this time, “Your knighthood doesn’t rely purely on continuing to serve under me. Which I’m sure you’re fully aware of. You’re skilled and desirable in more than one way. Anyone else would take you undoubtedly.” 

A frown turned up at the corners of Suzaku’s mouth. “Frankly, implying I would serve anyone else is insulting.” 

The banter that they never stopped with when in each other’s company could continue for what felt like an eternity. 

Lelouch stepped down from his seat on his throne to draw himself closer to Suzaku, “We’re two halves of the same awful whole. You’re mine. You’ve always been mine. Don’t make me repeat my question.” 

Suzaku knew that getting anything genuine out of Lelouch wasn’t easy so him being sincere was hard to detect, “I made my vow as your knight, and that will never change. I’m yours, no matter what path you choose.”


	3. Chapter 3

Suzaku was a light sleeper, he was trained to expect anything. He awoke to hear Lelouch mumbling and turning in his sleep. 

He calmly reached over to lightly grasp Lelouch's hand. Suzaku tenderly whispered, "It's okay, I'm here. You're safe." 

Lelouch's chest softened into lighter breaths from what was a heavy pace. Suzaku cherished the time he spent alone next to Lelouch when he was silent and didn't wear a heavy set frown like when he was awake. He wanted to say he looked angelic, but that was hardly the right term for someone like Lelouch.

Lelouch always had a quip on hand for anything affectionate Suzaku could say about him. He laughed a bit at the memory of him saying, "What does that say about you, loving someone like me?" 

Suzaku was of the sound opinion that his boyfriend needed to loosen up. Which is why moments like this when the faint inset worry lines faded away and he resembled the boy he first fell in love with so many years ago meant more than words could describe. 

His lavender eyes were breathtaking but him being at peace was even more so after _everything_. It was no wonder Lelouch had gotten him to fall for him all over again. 

He was just so naturally beautiful. He never had to try, that in itself made it more appealing. Saying he got lucky also wasn't the right way to phrase it. 

They were drawn to each other in the sense that two wrongs did make a right. Lelouch was like a sharpened blade in that a gun would inflict damage but a sword would cut deeper and where it hurts the most.

Lelouch had hurt him so much, yet as he brushed the stray strands of hair away from his face he was mesmerized.

This mushy stuff always got Lelouch to push him away, but he took the opportunity to place a soft kiss on his exposed forehead. 

Suzaku heard a quiet noise tumble from his lips but he remained asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

How could things end before they had even begun to start? 

They had so much left to say to each other, and the tension boiled hotter than a summer day. 

Lelouch was the first one to crack, not by uttering words but by letting a sob escape and wrack his whole body in a shiver. Suzaku wanted to say more than nothing, like “You know you’re getting out easy right?” or “I wish things had been different.. For us.. For the world.” 

He couldn’t just listen to Lelouch cry without showing him some form of comfort, but both of them still couldn’t accept that the day of reckoning for both of them was tomorrow. Lelouch would die for his crimes, for the people he killed as well as manipulated, and for the sake of the world. 

Suzaku would take the place of the figure he held so much hatred for as he killed his partner in more ways than one with the whole world watching. He always knew he would have to pay for the blood spilled on his hands since the age of 10. 

But part of him wondered if Lelouch was as afraid as he was, but of course Lelouch never let that mask both literally and figuratively fall down until he had no other choices. He tenderly reached out a hand and placed it on Lelouch’s shoulder. 

He held it there more firmly than he should have, but the teen was too likely to pull away from the touch. Surprisingly he accepted the touch and choked out, “Hold me for a while… Like we used to.” 

Suzaku forcibly rolled the thinner boy over so he could look into his eyes, “Lelouch, you’re beautiful and alive..” 

Wanting to ignore the sentiments behind what he had just heard he laughed and said, “Of course I am, dumbass.” 

Suzaku’s eyes narrowed briefly, but he knew that tonight wasn’t the place or time to argue even playfully at the risk of tensions rising further. “Lelouch, you know that’s not what I meant. I’m afraid.. of not just the future.. but a future without you in it. It’s just us here, and it’ll be just us tomorrow with the whole world as an audience. I’m not as good of an actor as you, your majesty.” 

Lelouch laughed harshly, “Drop the formalities. I was never truly a ruler, and you know that. I was just a figurehead for the plan.” 

The brief distraction from having to listen to his lover cry was welcome, the term lover itself was far too cliché for Lelouch to coin outside of intimate quarters. The same could be said for the emperor and knight cliché, but it was more flattering in Lelouch’s eyes versus putting himself on an equal level with anyone to the public. 

But Suzaku knew that despite their different backgrounds, upbringings, and ideals; there was no one more suited to call Lelouch their partner than him. Lelouch stared up at Suzaku, “You’re mine, regardless of if I’m here or not.” 

That got a small chuckle out of Suzaku, “Your jealous wrath has been known to be rather deadly. I wouldn’t be surprised if you arose just to make it known that I belong to you.” 

Lelouch’s expression darkened for a brief time, “Till death do us part, as they say.” 

It was hard to tell if Lelouch had begun to accept his fate, and as some would say, his punishment or if he was just building up that façade of letting nothing touch him emotionally again. 

Suzaku finally pulled Lelouch on his side and against him. He knew that if he faced him while asking a question that would evoke emotion from him, he would ignore him or just tell him to stop. 

“Lelouch, you’re afraid.. aren’t you? I am too. You don’t have to hide under that mask. I know who you are. You’re Lelouch the student, the loving brother, the caring best friend, the guy who was willing to sacrifice everything even himself to make a better world for his little sister. And as much as you try to ignore it, tonight is the last night and not just for you.” 

He could hear the normally confident and composed teen struggle to get out words, “Is this what you want to hear? Yes, I’m afraid, who the hell wouldn’t be in this situation?! Do you want to hear that I’m getting the punishment I deserve for my crimes?! That I wish I had done things differently so I could survive?! Of course I didn’t want to keep living an ended life with no change, but I also was always prepared to sacrifice others to create change faster. Do you want to get unsaid “I love you”s out of me?! What are you trying to achieve from forcing me to show the emotion I withheld for so long.”


	5. Chapter 5

Seeing the way Suzaku looked at Euphemia with soft and kind eyes cut deeper than having to break away from him after one childhood summer.

Lelouch could see how Suzaku’s eyes crinkled and his expression lit up when he spent time with her. This wasn’t fair, Suzaku was _his_ and no one else’s. 

If he knew his identity, his mouth would turn down and his normally gentle façade would harden into hatred not unlike Lelouch’s. He hated that part of him that knew that she was better for Suzaku than he’d ever be.

He deserved a kind soul like Euphemia not a blackened and bitter one like his own. 

Lelouch almost hoped he could prove himself to be better, but that aggressive voice in his head that wanted to just crush his lips against Suzaku’s. 

He wanted more than anything to not hold back against the first person to captivate his entire being. Lelouch loved being with Suzaku, almost as much as he loved Nunnally and doting on her. 

But Suzaku hated murderers and people who used then threw away anyone after they no longer served a purpose.

He knew he was everything the man he loved despised and worked to deter from controlling the system.


	6. Chapter 6

Their first kiss was in a field, they were 10. Suzaku pressed a gentle slightly wet kiss to Lelouch's cheek. 

Looking back on it, Suzaku realized it was because he just had a feeling he'd never see Lelouch again. Their last had been at the age of 18. 

It was heavy, passionate, a bit hateful, and forceful. It wasn't tender. It was a last grip at the reality of them being together. 

It was sloppy and aggressive, the built up pressures of knowing the months of planning was to result in both of their deaths. 

They latched on each other's mouths knowing they'd have to come up for air.

But the sensation of feeling like they were drowning was nothing new to either of them.

It was almost laughable that this moment of weakness would end up being one of his strongest memories of Lelouch.


End file.
